The Giant Panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) is native to Central and Southwestern China and has for many years been the most visible of the planet’s endangered species.
“There’s really no point in helping them really,” said zoologist Professor Dwayne Shultz of The American Institute for Things That Need Saving.
“The Panda is simply not a sustainable species.”
“They’re black and white for a start, yet they live in a green jungle for God’s sake.”
“And their diet consists of eating 30 pounds of the least nutritious plant in the entire jungle, every single day.”
The world’s zoos have spent millions on their efforts to grow the Panda population over the last 30 years, to little or no effect.
“Pandas just aren’t interested in sex. Even the really kinky stuff.”
“Do you know how difficult it is to get a female panda into a basque?”
“I’d rather spend my time saving an animal that had even a passing interest in chasing tail.”
I gotta agree with the poor scientists.Honestly.Do you guys realise that they actually have to literally have sex for them?I mean genetical reproduction of course not the crazy stuff you were thinking about!
“If we’re brutally honest we should have given up a long time ago, it’s just that they’re so damned cute.”
“It’s like looking at a big fat albino who’s been repeatedly punched in the face.”
When told of the news, Chi Chi Jnr, the son of London Zoo’s most famous Panda, merely shrugged his shoulders and continued slowly munching bamboo.
I am a little bit surprised that so much money is spent on saving what could be argued as handicapped bears.
What are your thoughts?